I was going through the “Latest Headlines” (almost always a mistake) when my eyes fell upon the following:
Facebook same name couple to wed
Curious as to how these two concepts related I pressed on.
A couple with the same name who found each other through social networking website Facebook are to tie the knot.
Wow, fucking wow. Why yes; a couple, who met on Facebook, and who even have the same first name, are due to wed. Gee golly, breakout the champagnee. I hope my sarcasm manages to ooze its way through the tubes and out onto the journalist’s keyboard, frying it irreparably. What crap.
So why did they chose that topic to cover? I guess it makes sense. Love, Facebook, someone with the last name “Hildebrandt,” it had it all! And, something more.
Much like keeping those imprisoned in a labor camp alive long enough to be useful, the art of writing a news headline is a science. I’ve noticed a recent trend in articles containing “same” coupled with two subsequent nouns. “Same blank blank.” Their wording has tripped me up before and caused a few double takes. Until now I’ve always wondered if they were intentionally trying to snag us Liberal Skim Readers (LSR), but… now I’m almost certain. “Facebook same __ couple to wed.” come on, Same __ couple? “Same sex couple” has become a well established word grouping. It’s the simplest way of expressing the idea without going into set theory.
Ugh. It was just three letters off from something I actually care about. Fuck it, that’s close enough for this LSR.
Oy vey, Eris!
Phnepsilon, The Suffixless