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Monthly Archives: July 2009

Currently there are places exterminating pigs… But now that it’s spreading to people…? I am still debating whether the Anilluminati anticipated this next chilling step. I must admit that I have begun growing concern somewhere in my basement.

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On every channel there’s a reporter raving about the latest fad in global viruses. Yes, swine flu fever is sweeping the nation as everyone plugs in to hear and share the latest gossip. While the poor and elderly are the ones strutting the runway, the biggest of names have not been deterred from discussing it. A shining example of this is a recent historic address by President Barrack Obama where he became the first black president of These United States to talk about swine flu.

So why the fuss? Swine-borne illnesses have a long history of decimating populations and bringing civilized society to its knees. H1N1, H1N2, H3N1, H3N2, H2N3, and several other combinations of H,N, and two numbers have done permanent damage to the world’s population. Around most of these outbreaks, the average life expectancy dropped globally. Look into the year 1918 when the Swine Flu killed more humans than the ongoing wars of the time. But enough doom and gloom, let’s get to the science!

The science is simple: people are like pigs. As a possible subsequence of this, people are susceptible to many of the same diseases as pigs. Combined with the massive volume of pig and people trafficking, something as deadly as N1H1 or the Ebola virus gives scientists the spooks when they become cross-species contagions.

Birds (also closely related to people) present a similar risk.  The Avian-flu is still fresh on many of our minds. The terrifying thing about birds is that they traffic themselves. No trading restrictions or forced isolation camps would abate the spread of a bird-borne pandemic. That’s a chilling scientific fact.

Which brings us to the topic of cows. While mad cow disease has a funny name, it certainly isn’t as contagious as the flu or Ebola. Between this and the dissimilarities between cows and people, the pandemical “cow-flu” scenario seems far from likely. Sorry guys, you’re just not spotlight material. Good news for the beef industry, and those who stand to profit from it.

In fact, with the mass-extermination of pigs occurring around the globe, one has to consider the economic impact. People, due to increased prices and decreased money, will be forced to switch from swine to bovine in order to survive this major pork-downturn. While this change may seem subtle, a few people have a lot to gain. Those few people (and that gain) are the real topic of today’s post.

It is a long established fact that the beef industry is controlled by a singular, centralized power. Ever since the agricultural revolution of the early to mid 20th century, the Anilluminati have been pulling strings and playing cards to maximize the prevalence of beef consumption in the West. The end result is that These United States of America consume more beef than all other nations combined!  This has fueled the Anilluminati’s power in the Western World, allowing them to throw the 2001 election and send us spiraling into control.

I agree that correlation is not causation; just because the Anilluminati have untold amounts of stuffs to gain from Swine Flu, doesn’t mean they caused it. However, the fact that they caused it certainly does.

Before you start talking about probability and Occam’s Razor, start out with the presupposition that it’s possible. Okay? Good.

Causing a global effect is easy! The effect may not always be what you desired but in someways it can be. There doesn’t need to be a conspiracy to explain a series of coincidences; all there needs to be is the right rock rolling down the right hill. Momentum; it’s about momentum. Once the momentum begins, it doesn’t matter who pushed; the momentum continues.

It isn’t rocket science to break into a pig farm, especially if you’re a rocket scientist. All this hysteria takes is a hopped fence and a dropped beaker. As for the rest, it’s simply a matter of each individual maintaining their roles. The media reports news, consumers react to news, and company owners react to consumers. In this way, the infection of one animal could cause global panic and huge profits shared throughout the beef industry. And by shared I of course mean funneled up to the Anilluminati.

Hail Stuff,
Phnepsilon, The Suffixless

Lately I’ve been discussing the secrets of the occult mysteries hidden within the recondities of Esoteric Corporate America.  The Ex Back Formula, alongside Quantum Jumping, falls firmly into this on going theme.

Discover How You Can Get The Love of Your Life Back… Even If Your Situation Seems Beyond Repair!

This is another sad example of an Incorporated Secret Society (ISS)  preying on the DisIlluminated Masses (DIM).

There are predictable patterns of behavior that ALWAYS occur…

I am not sure which party makes me twitch more. The former is a despicable action, the latter a grotesque reaction.

… the mere thought of my ex being PHYSICALLY INTIMATE with another person was enough to make me sick to my stomach.

Not to mention that the product is crap, whether it works or not. Generally speaking, how good is a relationship that results in a person feeling empty and unfulfilled?

Instead of Dr. Phil… my therapists were Dr. Pepper… McDonald’s…. Dunkin Donuts…

Do you really want to get back together with someone who sent you to such a crappy extreme as throwing your money at the Get Rich Quick scheme of relationships?

Man let me tell you… I was SOOO skeptical of this stuff.

Perhaps people are just too afraid to face themselves.

I had watched everything and anything that could help take my mind off the painful reality of life.

In any case, they shit on my favorite activity; texting people while drunk and consumed with self loathing. That’s really what this post is about. I’m pissed.

Hail Zud!

Phnepsilon, The Drunkerd

PS.

Drunk text on my waywad sons.

I was going through the “Latest Headlines” (almost always a mistake) when my eyes fell upon the following:

Facebook same name couple to wed

Curious as to how these two concepts related I pressed on.

A couple with the same name who found each other through social networking website Facebook are to tie the knot.

Wow, fucking wow. Why yes; a couple, who met on Facebook, and who even have the same first name, are due to wed. Gee golly, breakout the champagnee. I hope my sarcasm manages to ooze its way through the tubes and out onto the journalist’s keyboard, frying it irreparably. What crap.

So why did they chose that topic to cover? I guess it makes sense. Love, Facebook, someone with the last name “Hildebrandt,” it had it all! And, something more.

Much like keeping those imprisoned in a labor camp alive long enough to be useful, the art of writing a news headline is a science.  I’ve noticed a recent trend in articles containing “same” coupled with two subsequent nouns. “Same blank blank.” Their wording has tripped me up before and caused a few double takes. Until now I’ve always wondered if they were intentionally trying to snag us Liberal Skim Readers (LSR), but… now I’m almost certain. “Facebook same __ couple to wed.” come on, Same __ couple?  “Same sex couple” has become a well established word grouping. It’s the simplest way of expressing the idea without going into set theory.

Ugh. It was just three letters off from something I actually care about. Fuck it, that’s close enough for this LSR.

Oy vey, Eris!

Phnepsilon, The Suffixless

“The Inter-Dimensional Quest for a Better You,” the banner announced. I suppressed an inter-dimensional spew of vomit and kept reading.

Burt Goldman, after biting his tongue for 36 years (WOW!), has finally revealed his ultra-secret, hyper-effective… thing? The article doesn’t come out and /say/ what the product is right away, but if it was secret for 36 years then it must be buyworthy!

The (whatever) is marketed at the “99%” who are not “truly happy” with their life,  those who do not “wake up every morning feeling 100% fulfilled.” Perhaps they should subdivide and focus on a particular segment. Oh wait, they do; “for the tarot enthusiast only.” Shit. Is that a shot at tarot readers? I think so.

Of course, depending on the version of spam you get, the finer details vary. However, the most important thing to remember is that you should give them your money.

Hail Eris, (and All Hail Quantum Bullshitting)!

-Phnepsilon…. Just Phnepsilon.

Soon after I posted my first article on the Michael Jackson conspiracy, my blog was deleted and I was forced to drop the “U” from my name and start a new blog on wordpress. I am now posting again as a show that I will not be silenced. Listen here, as long as Michael Jackson lives, I plan to do my duty as a United States of American and make that life a living hell. Anilluminati or no Anilluminati, the truth will prevail. So I say once again, MICHAEL JACKSON LIVES. Now moving on to the Straight Talk.

The mainstream media may (for the first time ever) be catching up to the truth. Michael Jackson’s body has been reported missing. Yes; missing. Of course neither of us are surprised, but please understand that this is a big step for a group of people who declared Bush the winner of our 2000 election*.

The Media’s surprisingly bullet-proof logic is this: 1. Some law somewhere states that you have to be buried where your death certificate says you are 2. People are saying his isn’t yet. The Jackson family, being a law abiding bunch, would of course ensure that the body was in the ground as fast as possible. Sounds like a pretty solid case to me! This is not even mentioning the unsightings of his corpse within the casket that occurred some point after the procession. Still a skeptic? Well, most compelling of all is that his family isn’t talking. Why would you not say something if you didn’t have something to hide?

Hail Eris and all that Jaz.

– Phnepsilon, The Suffixless AKA The Gin Fairy AKA Shnepsilon AKA Phenepislon AKA Phnep AKA Snap (for some reason)

* The winner was actually whichever candidate you voted for. Well, just so long as that candidate wasn’t Bush. Don’t blame me, I voted Max Flax Beeblewax in every election year ending with 5.

Thus spake the girl in bed with me, who (lacking a holy name), shall henceforth be referred to as Girl In Bed With Me, Spaker of Things About Stuff.

So yes; the world is a bowl of hedgehogs. And while the bowl itself is entirely arbitrary, each hedgehog feels a need to claim their interpretation as truth and push it on others. They war over it; each defending their meaning while calling all others wrong. “The bowl is a deep plate,” says one, “no; the bowl is really just a ladle with an unknowable handle,” says another, then someone says something about love and creates an awkward silence.

One day a single hedgehog named… uh.. Mr. Hedgehog… can’t take the arguing anymore and gets up on a soap box. “If each of you claims that every other is wrong, then everyone’s wrong!” Then, in a single moment of bowl-wide unity, the heretical hedgehog is forcefully thrown from the bowl. A few weeks of peace and then back to warring.

As that poor little fellow drifts away, looking back at hedgehogilization, the bowl’s nature reveals itself for what it truly is; a series of shared hallucinations* occurring in clusters around a ham-sandwich floating in space. If they were to put aside their arguments, they would see the fruitlessness of it all, stop warring and instead start zooming around with little hedgehog sized jet packs. But no! Instead they war. A shame really, because the now enlightened hedgehog drifting through space is about to watch them get eaten by, uh… hungry space-turtle. Well, this hedgehog has decided to grab a jet pack before that happens.

Hail Eris, and SO LONG God’s Bowl’o’Hedgehogs of a Spaceship, PLANET EARTH.

– The Great and Wonderful, Omni-Opiate, Irreverently Reverent Reverend Phnepsilon, The Suffixless.

* Anthropologist’s call it consensus reality. Pray it never happens to you!

Michael Jackson isn’t dead; he’s just gone undercover. He needs to hang low until the US Government gets off his tail. Why does the US Government want him? He’s not only wanted by 4 of the 5 secret societies that control them, but he’s also in part personally responsible for the events that took place on 9/11/2001. Here are the facts; on 9/10/2001 (yes; a day before the whole world-trade center/pentagon/some-field thing) he performed a concert. But not just any concert! At this “performance” he could bee seen making many fervent hand and leg gestures while he sang. Now, to the untrained eye this could be interpreted as a simple seizure, but for those initiated (or clued in on) the secrets of Al-Qaeda’s inner circle, the true nature of these movements is immediately apparent; a secret steganographic code. The cipher operates much like the Pigpen transposition cipher commonly used by the Freemasons, except using the human body as a steganograph to add an additional layer of fuzziness… that is to say “more flailing.” The movements of his limbs mimic the corresponding correspondences on the correspondence chart mapping correspondences, allowing for subsequent decorrespondence. When you piece the pieces back together they spell out an insidious call to action: “BEAT IT”.

– Phnepsilon, The Suffixless